Monday, May 15, 2017
On a midsummer's night, dreams streak across the sky
It's time for dreaming again and the Summer Solstice has never let me down . Every June for the past few years I have gathered with my soul sisters and opened the channel to endless dreams. The rituals under the summer sky is always the same. We adorn ourselves with flowers and cloud the air with sage. Herbs are tied into baskets and sprinkled into the bonfire. There is always a fire, no matter how warm this first night of summer. Dream boards are created, letters are written, and there is a music score as twilight sets in. Every year the Solstice becomes just a little more lovely than the next.
The most important ritual is letting go of that which doesn't serve us anymore. Relationships which have become toxic, decisions that we are unhappy with, doubts, worry, and fears, especially fears Letting go is something that is taken seriously, for we truly believe in cherishing all things in our life; even those things which cause us endless turmoil. This a time for unmasking and releasing anything that creates obstacles which prevent us from moving forward. What we set free into the fire fueled by the summer breeze is released without malice or condemnation. We simply let go.
Letting go, allows us to open the door for allowing enchantment in. Magic is whatever we desire in secret, at night, with the door closed. The things we whisper to ourselves because we unsure that we are able or ready to accept radical transformations in our lives.At times it seems unthinkable that we could allow the desired but unknown in. But in this circle of women, with the stars on our side,we open our lives to joy, pleasure, and passion. As darkness finally descends on the first night of Summer, we see each other by the glow of stars, and the brilliant night sky. We have dared to dream. The season ahead will respond. Where are dreams have taken us,will be shared on a cold December night when the Winter Solstice beckons us. to gather again.
Monday, April 17, 2017
Keep climbing until you see the peak.
I usually find it very easy to write of inspirational thoughts. This year however, I had to wade through the mud of life a bit in order to find the shore where all beautiful thoughts grow. In the past few years, I had manage to keep peace and serenity by avoiding challenging myself to deal with some final conflicts and pivotal decisions. I also avoided romantic relationships. You can't be hurt if you don't let down your guard. Or so I thought. In fact you are hurting yourself when you purposely prevent life from following its course. Sometimes that course takes you right back to try something you walked away from. So last Summer Solstice I vowed " I came this far not to stop here, but to finish what I set out to do" So I took off my protective gear and walked straight into the battle. The past year has been life altering. Finally, finally, finally ( did I say that enough) I went to court and forced sale of the house. That led me to take a mental sledge hammer to one wall after another. Divorce, detachment from the ghosts of the past, that mental hammer is demolishing anything that has prevented me from reaching my goals. Those goals? Very simple, peace and freedom. Still working on those but they are in reach. Actually, I can touch them, so I know I am very close.
Throughout this process, this incredibly beautiful man just stood back and watched me do what I needed to do. He was there not just to support me, but to watch and help me build support for myself. He had his own walls to tear down. We are almost done....Almost. Until then,we have this magic thing going on. A magic I knew existed, but thought I probably would not experience in this lifetime. It's time to write of wonderful things again. Despite all the craziness of the past few months, I live in wonder every single day that out of the ashes of our individual fires,we have found this beautiful thing called love. When you finally experience transformative love, it truly takes your breath away. Once that door opens,few want to walk back out. Or as Stevie said...
"I have my own life and I am stronger
Than you know
But I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door
Still I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door"
Friday, March 10, 2017
A Question of Character.
Did this election give us insight to the character of the people around us? Or does it reflect on the character of the person that was elected? My friend William gives a great answer to that question.
A QUESTION OF CHARACTER
Contrary to the beliefs of many of my compatriots, not all Trump supporters' defenses of him are examples of the Dunning–Kruger effect. Some are actually intelligent people whose biases are rooted in something other than misinformation or limited cognitive abilities. I won't speculate on what those motivations are but their reasoned defenses aren't justified in the case of Trump. He’s undeserving of the well thought and articulately stated attempts to mitigate his incompetence. Everything about the man is an affront to the senses and an insult to decency. A useful suggestion might be for them to stop comparing him to anyone else as that does nothing but reinforce existing, inconsequential attitudes regarding acceptable behavior. The farfetched moral equivalences have grown tiresome and were never really more than attempts to distract. It may be more useful to look at him as a husband, businessman and yes, even as the Christian he claims to be.
As a husband we know a few things and none really shine as endorsements for husband of the year. We know he was unfaithful in the past and by his own words tried to cheat on his current wife. We know he’s been married three times and that his first wife accused him of rape in a divorce that was also highlighted by his infidelity. As for his business acumen we know he's been successful but at what cost. We know he's filed for bankruptcy four times personally. We know he's left a long line of vendors and contractors in his wake who claim his business practices are unfair and border on the criminal. We suspect (because he won’t release his taxes) that he has some unsavory ties to foreign benefactors. We also know that to date whatever talent he does have for business has not translated into good governance. As for his claims of being a Christian, only he and God know if he does so with sincerity. What is clear however is that he's lacking of those attributes one normally associates with being a Christian. Humility, compassion and tolerance are not among his strong suits. In fact they seem to be anathema to his personality.
Frankly the one attribute that he and his backers point to most often as a positive is the fact he's not his predecessor. His ineptitude seems to be forgivable for those whose dislike of the former president borders on a pathological hatred. It doesn't seem to matter that Mr. Trump is devoid of character and completely lacking core principles. It doesn't seem to matter that he has an aversion to the truth that permeates every aspect of his administration.One that taints his office and makes every proclamation suspect. It doesn't even seem necessary that he be competent as long as he promises to erase every trace of the man who came before him. For all of his claims of impropriety by the former holder of his office one thing is clear.Mr.Trump needs the contrast to Obama for his public and political persona to be relevant. Without the constant comparisons and cries of wrong doing the president is quite frankly an empty shirt. Without the comparisons he’s left with only his own attributes and accomplishments. And they’re as lacking in substance as he is the character and intestinal fortitude that are the hallmarks of great leaders. It really shouldn’t take this long to understand that being president is more than just not being the person whose place you took. It should come as no surprise however that he conducts himself in such an “unpresidential” fashion. His entire persona has been built around being the opposite of the man who held the office previously. A man who’s every act was nothing if not presidential.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Some would call it a command from God. While others will call it gut instinct. Whatever it is,those who speak out chose a difficult and often lonely path. Yet they do so, and because of them, the world is a better place. Sometimes at the cost of the individual who sacrifices for many.
How do people find inner peace when they are called to speak out during times of chaos? This is my favorite question because I find it difficult to achieve. Yet I believe in my soul that such a calling should never be ignored. In my search for passionate peace at the same time standing up for what is right; I am studying those who lived this lesson by example. Starting with Martin Luther King the next 40 days of Lent will be a journey into discovering how to continue to live a life for the greater good of mankind, while still maintaining my own humanity.
How do people find inner peace when they are called to speak out during times of chaos? This is my favorite question because I find it difficult to achieve. Yet I believe in my soul that such a calling should never be ignored. In my search for passionate peace at the same time standing up for what is right; I am studying those who lived this lesson by example. Starting with Martin Luther King the next 40 days of Lent will be a journey into discovering how to continue to live a life for the greater good of mankind, while still maintaining my own humanity.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Send your story into the wind. Let it travel like a seed.
My soul hurts these days. Ironically,not because the Universe has fired it up, but because so many feel so comfortable attempting to put it out. I am old enough to remember a time when a women could be fired from a job for pregnancy. That happened to me in 1992 when I was pregnant with my second daughter. I developed complications early on. My time off visiting the doctor was considered an inconvenience to my employer. Like many pregnant women before me, I was terminated from that job for simply being pregnant. Back in 1992 there was no FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) So in a blink of an eye I lost my job, health insurance,and a big part of my faith. Thankfully, my husband had a job that agreed to pick up our health insurance. You see back then it was a choice. His job could have refused to insure us. We could have been left destitute in the middle of a pregnancy that went medically wrong.
For the record, we both had graduated from college,had worked both full-time and a part-time jobs each,as we saved for a house. Then in our mid 20's,life was just sailing along. We had a four years old and now had expanded our family with baby number two. We worked hard followed the rules, and then out of a blue came a medical crises that could have destroyed our lives. Without that insurance I am not sure if my beautiful daughter Alayna or I would be here today. As potentially fatal blood clots went into my kidneys; I spent that pregnancy in and out of the hospital with the complications from a blood clotting disorder that would not be discovered until decades later.
With three healthy children, some wonder why I care about those women who come after me. How could I not care? I know how easy it is to go from doing just fine to crises mode. I know that we need laws in place to protect families from greed. I know that greed is sometimes the biggest motivating factor for those who control the marketplace. Humanity and compassion sometimes simply have to be legislated. Having previously worked in healthcare and possessing a lifelong addiction to research; I know that when left to the mercy of whim, sometimes women and children die. As states such as Texas remove access to prenatal care for women they have seen a surge in the mortality rate of pregnant women. Their suggestion that women pray, is an insult to the real miracles that have taken place to save lives. Prayer does not control; insulin, heart disease, kidney disease, blood clotting disorder. Perhaps prayer did give us individuals who developed medications that can and do save lives.
So I symbolically march. I call, I write, I encourage others to call and write, because I bear witness to what access to medical care can make every time I look at my now 24 year old 5'11 daughter. My story from yesterday, must not be repeated by another woman tomorrow. What about you? Will you help me create a better tomorrow? Please start by not being uncomfortable with my truth, but by embracing my desire to not make it someone else's reality.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Remaining awake during times of Revolution.
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Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Life Letters( Part 3 of 3).
There was a Beatles Cd playing in my home office that day. It
was a typical very humid July day in Georgia. We had been living in the south
for ten years. After the first few years of adjustment, which included a new
baby; I had fallen in love with Georgia’s sticky, warm, summer days. A fan on
low was the only thing keeping the room cool. On the desk I gathered a stack of tan paper. I
had recently learned to tea stain paper and I was writing on paper that I had
aged myself. In the last few months I
had learned a great deal of new things. I had also rediscovered some old loves;
yoga, hiking, reading writing. Years of a partnership bring you to one
direction. When the duo becomes one, you can suddenly feel as if you are a
complete stranger in your own skin. So
you change or wilt. I had decided to change. Change while still living in the
same situation is one thing. This letter
was about to open the door to more radical change; the kind that moves body and
soul.
As I picked up my pen, the song ‘Here, There and Everywhere’
came on. I stopped for minute to listen to the lyrics.
Knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there
I will be there
And everywhere
Here, there and everywhere..
It seemed the perfect song for endings, as love songs often
are. That moment when you can’t identify
with the love song, is the moment you wake up to the horrible fact that
something once very valuable is gone. After the song ended, I started to write. Once
I started, the words came pouring out and I pushed down so hard that the
fragile paper started to tear. But I continued on because I was afraid if I
stopped I would never be able to write again.
What came out was a journey of our marriage. The ups and
downs and the realizations, for there had been many realizations, of a journey that
had ended. So I wrote words that would anger. I wrote words that would cause
outrage. But words that were completely honest.
Honesty was something I having to relearn after years of lying to myself…..
“I don’t know who you are anymore. You have become a
stranger. In the process of trying to figure you out I managed to lose myself. The past few months, I have been happier than
I have been in years. How sad is it that I am happy because I have started to
build a life that doesn’t include anyone who would hurt me? That means you must
be excluded”
My goodbye letter was a beautiful love letter. Can a goodbye letter
also be a love letter you may ask? Yes, if in saying goodbye to someone you use
to love, you are saying hello you to someone you use to love; yourself.
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