I usually find it very easy to write of inspirational thoughts. This year however, I had to wade through the mud of life a bit in order to find the shore where all beautiful thoughts grow. In the past few years, I had manage to keep peace and serenity by avoiding challenging myself to deal with some final conflicts and pivotal decisions. I also avoided romantic relationships. You can't be hurt if you don't let down your guard. Or so I thought. In fact you are hurting yourself when you purposely prevent life from following its course. Sometimes that course takes you right back to try something you walked away from. So last Summer Solstice I vowed " I came this far not to stop here, but to finish what I set out to do" So I took off my protective gear and walked straight into the battle. The past year has been life altering. Finally, finally, finally ( did I say that enough) I went to court and forced sale of the house. That led me to take a mental sledge hammer to one wall after another. Divorce, detachment from the ghosts of the past, that mental hammer is demolishing anything that has prevented me from reaching my goals. Those goals? Very simple, peace and freedom. Still working on those but they are in reach. Actually, I can touch them, so I know I am very close.
Throughout this process, this incredibly beautiful man just stood back and watched me do what I needed to do. He was there not just to support me, but to watch and help me build support for myself. He had his own walls to tear down. We are almost done....Almost. Until then,we have this magic thing going on. A magic I knew existed, but thought I probably would not experience in this lifetime. It's time to write of wonderful things again. Despite all the craziness of the past few months, I live in wonder every single day that out of the ashes of our individual fires,we have found this beautiful thing called love. When you finally experience transformative love, it truly takes your breath away. Once that door opens,few want to walk back out. Or as Stevie said...
"I have my own life and I am stronger
Than you know
But I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door
Still I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door"
